Saturday, September 6, 2008

Power Outage, Let the Craziness Ensue!

There I was, 1am in the morning, minding my own business book in one hand, snickers in the other. The whole house shuts down, lights, computers the whole enchilada. Now I am sitting in the dark wondering when the masked ninjas will appear and the major fight scene will take place. cartoon ninja
Then I remember, "Hey, this isn't a movie"! As my overactive mind begins to spin its evil web of bad thoughts, I am cursing my big brother for all those years of torture. He could give the best professionals in the business a run for their money. My mother suggests I send him the therapy bills. She lives with my husband & myself. Anyways, I digress. As I find the bravery to breathe, stand up and feel the walls all the way down to my mother's room, while still holding on to my precious snickers bar and book. Hey, I gotta keep the important things safe alright! I make it to my Mom's room, the one with All the emergency supplies. Since I am need of a flashlight, I knock lightly on her door then open it. She is snoozing hard. "Mom"? "MOM, I need a flashlight." Now I grew up with this lady, she always had one of those little pen lights handy. Now I swear I thought she kept it by her recliner, which happens to be where she is sleeping this night. All I hear out her is "Huh, what?" I say, "Mom, the power is out and I need one of your flashlights."
flashlight 2 So I wait patiently at the door. I hear lots of fumbling, more fumbling then crash bang boom and her yelling profanities that would turn your grandmothers hair blue without her weekly tinting. So now I managed to wake her up, the woman who hardly can sleep anymore, as well as my husband who had to get up in another hour for work. Poor guy. Then the next thing I hear that isn't dirty from my mother's mouth is "I thought I was in my bed." She was trying to get into one her desk drawers that wasn't there. Well once I can see with some form of light, I see my mother, a.k.a. Grammy Gram to some, has gone and Shoved over a bookcase and her side table clear to the floor. (I think you should lay off the roids Mom.) When it's all said and done, both her and my husband ask me why didn't I just go to bed. Well first of all that would of been the smart thing to do, and we all know I always pick door #2, the difficult and dumb way. Second of all, I was trying to protect my snickers. I mean they REALLY do SATISFY.
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3 comments:

whatatragiccomedy said...

LOL stories like this make me realize that sometimes life is stranger than fiction...and yes, i know I jacked that quote up. :)

Diesel said...

Good story!
It seems your life is not entirely dissimilar to my own, as I seem to have the same kind of priorities... food first, logic second!
Thanks for sharing Jen.
(as I type this, my daughter is standing, for the first time, completely unaided for more than 5 seconds! WOAH!

I got it all together, but forgot where I put it! said...

Oh Jeez! That was great! I've had a rough weekend and reading that little snippet, gave me a good giggle. (try saying that 5 times fast!) Anyway, it also helps that I'm not the only one up at all hours with book and snack in hand. Except I'm usually also covered in dogs. 1 or 2 would be curled up in my lap, or wherever, so I'd have to uproot the canine population, to brave my fear of the dark, and wake up others to join me in my demented wanderings.
Way to go Grammy Gram!!

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